IT STARTED WITH A FISH - THE NEW SINS

The lights dim, the music begins - a spotlight falls on Errol Brown, the ageless vocalist of Hot Chocolate as he steps up to the microphone and begins to sing - "It started with a fish, I never thought it would come to this."
Okay, this maybe a verbal side-step into the world of fantasy, but the altered lyrics of the opening line are spot on. What do you see when the man in the mitre waves his shepherd's crook and tells you how to live your life? Personally, I see a fish.
A personification of the 10,000-year-old constellation of the Whale and Fishes (eventually Pisces) stands on a balcony dressed in a gold-flecked robe that, if converted to hard cash, would innoculate and feed thousands of his sheep-like followers. He waves a bent stick in their direction and tells them that if they use a condom they're going to burn in hell for eternity ... "You gotta listen to the man, he's dressed like a giant fish, so he knows what he's talking about, he talks for Cod!"
Let's face it, if this is not total insanity then what the hell is?
It's not even Christian - it goes back way further than that!
Personification, dressing up like the constellational characters in the sky, holds the key to power. It's an archaic remnant of the multi-god systems used by Sumarians, Phoenicians, Egyptians, Greeks and Romans - all of which are derivations from the earliest memories of mankind - the Malvern Zodiac.
Mere mortals dressed as fishes, birds, dogs, bulls, crocodiles, even the rear end of a horse - have all been used to confound, confuse and control the easily impressed masses - but only the fish remains.
When the Greeks decided that they required guidance in their lives, they climbed the hill to the the temple, handed over their hard-earned offerings and asked advice from the oracle at Delphi (Dolphin).
And here we are in the 21st century, not much has changed - apart from a couple of brand new sins that have been added to the list.
I'll skip the first one - advice about genetic manipulation from a giant cod doesn't warrant consideration, but the second new sin is downright hypocritical - Thou shalt not polute the earth. The sentiment is fine (if not a couple of hundred years too late), but I do object to being told what to do by a man who lives in a palace surrounded by overweight and overdressed sychophants, and who has the use of a fleet of bullet-proof gas-guzzlers (seems to me that the use of bullet-proof glass lacks a certain level of faith in his fellow man) ... and hey, you've been in control for the last 2000 years, this bloody mess is mostly your fault!
Whatever happened to leading by example? Whatever happened to humility? Whatever happened to the Widow's Mite? This Christianity game is beginning to smell decidedly fishy, in more ways than one.