The Auld Alliance - Wake Up England

The speech of Mr. Sarkozy - "le gush" - sounded almost too good to be true. Maybe the phrase "beware Greeks bearing gifts" should be amended to "beware French speaking compliments" - if bought down to a personal level most people would cynically ask themselves "what does he want?"

The melting ice cap of 9600 BC created the North Sea barrier, allowing us to forge our own future through self-determination, relatively uninfluenced by the rest of mainland Europe and we have, until now, utilised the geographical separation very successfully.
For me the most significant words of this afternoon's verbal "love-in" were spoken not by our French neighbour, but by Mr. Michael Martin, speaker of the house of commons.

Was he speaking as a member of the British Parliament or as someone who has watched Mel Gibson cry "Freedom" far too many times - and does he actually realise what the term "Auld Alliance" means to those south of Hadrian's Wall?

England, the birthplace of true democracy, is sleepwalking to oblivion. The distrust felt towards those who have always eyed this land with jealousy and envy couples with the sense of self-preservation generated by hundreds of years of practical experience, is being systematically erased by others from outside our borders - and any arguments to the contrary are considered to be politically incorrect and inappropriate for 21st century globalisation.

Wake up England! Listen carefully to the Scottish accent that began proceedings earlier today - the sentiment behind the carefully crafted speech was "Och aye, ma French friend - let's rid ourselves of this minor irritation called England once and for all!"

Alistair and Rowan - Separated at birth

I opened the dusty file and checked the documents, there was no doubt that these two were brothers. The paperwork was almost irrelevant, it was as clear as the ridiculous grin on both of their faces.
Even though they had never met there were remarkable similarities in their colourful past that hinted at a genetic link and a predetermined behavioural pattern.
Both had been brought up in very privileged circumstances, educated at various private schools leading unswervingly to a top university education. Both of them had rebelled against the direction taken by their fathers, and both had strong family links to the world of politics.

There was a note pencilled at the bottom of the page, an explanation of the premature loss of cranial pigmentation to one of the brothers - the details were unclear but the words "traumatic experience," "flock of sheep" and "rarified highland air" were still easily discernable.
One of the brothers had risen to the top of his chosen profession and become a well-known household name, putting his signature to many important scripts and televised events - the other had also often been seen on prime-time television, but had assumed the role of a bumbling idiot.
At that moment there was a knock on the door - I quickly replaced the file into the cabinet and quietly closed the drawer. An East Lothian accent asked, "Would ya like a wee dram afore ye go?" I declined and left hurriedly.